I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Randomize
