two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
God, you're like boner-b-gone
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
