It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
