i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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