Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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