she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
