I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
