Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
