I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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