you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
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OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
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I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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