whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
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