Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize