Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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