Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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