it's like iHOP with fire
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
