Where is the hickey?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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