I think scott just propositioned me for sex
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
