I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
We have so much sex to catch up on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize