She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
