You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Randomize
