We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
