she kept yelling 'call me bella'
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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