I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
