dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
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Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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