why didn't you poke me back
the day after is always just damage control
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
