Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
she pinky promised me she was 18
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
