When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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