Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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