Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
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