So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
