She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
