we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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