I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
