Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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