My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
