Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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