Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Randomize
