I just cut my nipple shaving
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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