Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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