The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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