I wish i was in the wii world.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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