I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Randomize
