dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
