as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
