I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Randomize
