So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
