I bet he comes in French.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Randomize
