apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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