Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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