Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
