Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
