john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
