I must be too annoying 4 u.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
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