It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
