i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
