She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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