this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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