My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
