you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Randomize
